I can’t say the bulk of my adult life has been without regrets. In my early adulthood, I made mistakes—big mistakes—while exploring the life I had created for myself on this planet. I learned too many lessons the hard way, rather than heed the words of those who were wiser or more experienced in the ways of the world, the ways of the heart and the ways of the human spirit. Perhaps I needed to experience these lessons for myself in order to really learn them, yet that has not given me much comfort in the idea that along the way, learning these lessons for myself has hurt others.
There are times that I sit back and recognize that if I had changed even the tiniest detail of how I did the things I did, my entire life would be different. I would not have met many of the women who have graced my heart with their love. I would not have become a writer, let alone brought She into being. I would not have felt the pride as a parent sending my boy off to prom or watching him walk across the stage and accept his diploma. There is so much about the life I have now that I know would never have existed had I not done things exactly as I did them.
Yet, for as much as I know in my heart that all of who I am and what I have now are directly related to the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned along the way, it’s been difficult to really appreciate it all, knowing that it came at a price that was paid by someone else’s heart.
For many years, I have carried the sorrow for the pain my actions caused. While I have never had the chance to say the words, “I’m sorry,” to the one that I know paid the highest price of all, I can say, with a reasonable amount of certainty, that for years I have said it through my actions with everyone else who has come into my life. It hasn’t held me back. Instead, it’s served as a reminder to never make the same mistakes again. It’s made me a better partner, a better parent and a better human being.
Life doesn’t always give us the opportunity to go back and right a wrong, or even say the words, “I’m sorry.” Life does, however, give us the opportunity to forgive ourselves and use the regret for things we cannot undo or apologize for, to create something positive.

See you next month!
Tina Sordellini • Managing Executive Editor
info@shemag.com